“Let’s set some time to meet and show you around…”

So the time had finally arrived. Time to put those planning shoes on, and get moving! Living in Atlanta, there is certainly no shortage of charming, elegant, exotic, theatrical, or even traditional venues. So for an over thinking and research obsessed individual like myself, the list of interesting places was enormous. After sitting with Tom, we finally narrowed down our choices to a group of about 7 venues that really stood out for one reason or another. Sentimentally driven, our first venue to consider was Park Tavern at Piedmont Park. Our first date was on “the hill”, so the thought of our ceremony at the park was exciting. Unfortunately, after an attending an event there and chatting with some knowledgeable planners, we came to the conclusion that it was not necessarily the best place for us. The hustle and bustle of a beautiful spring day in the city would prove to be a little distracting for us, and didn’t completely fit with the intimate feel we were searching for.

Piedmont Park

Next was The Fabulous Fox Theatre, as so many of our dates have revolved around the shows there.  On top of that, the Moroccan flavor of the venue is something that has always fascinated me, and I jumped at the possibility of celebrating there. Through our visit, I became enamored with the place. Unfortunately, it was the Egyptian Ballroom that I had fallen for, and our guest list would have to be somewhere between 400-800 guests to really take advantage of the size room. For a minute I considered just sending an all-encompassing invite to all of our Facebook friends combined – but Tom quickly shot down that idea. From the beginning we knew we wanted our wedding to be as intimate as possible, so although a beautiful space, a Saharan extravaganza was not in our future.

The Egyptian Ballroom

 

From there we moved on to new and very difference locations. We met with the great staff of Bold American at The Foundry at Puritan Mill. We even saw the very southern amenities that Rhodes Hall provides. With all of these places, it came down to weighing our likes vs. the apprehensions we had for each. In the end, there was no “OMG – THIS IS IT!” factor to any of the places we had seen so far.  

What we could say about all of the venues listed above, is the fact that they all were very gay friendly. From the first email, to the site visit and last communication, all of these sites treated us with the same respect as any other couple considering their business. Of course, there were some awkward moments that still make me chuckle.

At one venue for example, the coordinator was half way through a tour when she started to blush and seem to want to ask a question. We stopped and stared at her, and in a very soft and mumbled manor, she quickly asked:  “So are you the other person…groom? Sorry, I don’t know if you are friends or together.”  I of course wanted to mess with her a little and act offended, but Tom took pity and answered her question.  Poor girl almost died of embarrassment, but we knew she only asked that way because it was not her normal bridge and groom. From there it became a little joke, and the tour ended with the very sweet and considerate representative.

And so, the search continued.

Guess what? We are engaged!

December 24th was the day of the engagement.

Walnut Street Bridge

Chattanooga, TN

Tom and I standing on a bridge over the Chattahoochee River on a foggy winter’s night. The drop to one knee. The ring. Perfection. After some celebration and time to let it all sink in, it was time to share the great news with our friends and family. Wouldn't be too hard right? Well, this is where the fun begins.

When a straight couple becomes engaged, there is the phone call. The news is given and the rejoicing begins. With most friends this was the case. However, some of our straight friends reacted very differently than expected. For example, a couple of times instead of congratulations, the initial response was "So what does that mean? Are you traveling to get married in CA?" Another friend actually said. "Can you even get married in GA?" Finally, my favorite "How is a gay man getting married before my single ass?"

To be fair that last one was said in jest. The previous responses however, aroused a very uneasy feeling. First, as we all know, thanks to Proposition 8, gay marriage is not allowed in CA. So although it does house the Ellen Show and is the most “liberal” state you could think of, sorry, but not factually correct. Second, the last thing a newly engaged man wants to be reminded of is the fact that he cannot become legally married in the state where he works, owns a home and pays taxes in. Honestly, I don't hold it against these individuals that they would ask these questions. You are a straight man living in a straight world. I get it. The question that comes to my mind is, would this be your initial reaction if your straight BFF had called you up with engagement news? Would you immediately ask, what now? Where is the wedding? What dress are you going to wear? What flavor cake will you have? I assume not.

So lesson to the wise. Straight or Gay. Bi or Transgender. When you get that call informing you of a beautiful engagement, just congratulate your friend. The straight friend does not want to live beyond the last couple of hours. They don't want to be bombarded with questions and realities. At least not yet. Surprisingly, your gay friends feel exactly the same way. They just want you to rejoice with them like any newly engaged friend. Let the questions come later if you must. They are easier to answer a week after the engagement bubble bursts.

 

Welcome to the adventure!

 Love has a strange way of presenting itself sometimes... Yea, It sounds like the beginning of a Carrie Bradshaw piece, and trust me, I wish it was. I mean, what gay man wouldn't want a TV show focusing on men, fashion and love. Unfortunately, I didn't catch on to writing about love until after it was already discovered by HBO. Let me tell you though, I’m quickly finding that this is where the fun is. My story goes like this. Manny met Tom in 2010. After some great dates that included restaurants, coffee and a couple Piedmont Park sunsets; a relationship started that has fortunately blossomed to where we find ourselves today. Engaged.

Without giving up too much personal boring background, Tom and I are more of your traditional couple when it comes to love and what we foresee in marriage. Throughout the years there have been chats about everything from living situations to our ideas of a family. No matter what, marriage was always a thing both of us seemed to envision together. Now we are on the cusp of this reality, and all of a sudden, I realize ... this isn't the wedding planning I had dreamed of! What magazines would my besties and I gawk over? What traditions do we stick to? Who's parents are throwing the engagement party? And more importantly, who gets to wear white and walk down the aisle?

 

These are the adventures I plan on sharing. How a gay couple in a modern city such as Atlanta will maneuver the establishment of marriage and all the traditions that seem to accompany the act.

 

Welcome!